Sleeping Positions

The Half Sit-up 

To achieve the half sit-up, you must begin with the intention of exercising your abs and promptly fall asleep midway through the task. This position is extremely advanced and not recommended for amateur sleepers. 

The Awkward Spoon 

The goal here is not so much for intimacy, as it is the socially uncomfortable sharing of your physical space with someone. Bonus points if your arm falls asleep and you're too scared to move it. 

The Cool Dude
The trick here is to look totally relaxed while you're really extremely uncomfortable. 

Bed Hog 

The goal is not so much comfort, as an expression of sheer, unadulterated greed. 

Thinking Outside the Box 

Two of your feet - preferably on opposite sides of your body - must remain outside the box at all times. 

The Pile-Up 

You end up colliding with at least three others, and you are hoping they all have insurance. 

Be The Box 

You must be able to get your whole body in the box, no matter what it takes. Become one with the box! 

The Radiator 

Your main goal here is not about comfort......it's just about warmth. 

The Sleeping Dog 

This one is easy. Find a dog. Imitate the dog.

The Positive Thinker

You refuse to be let a bad situation get the best of you. 

The Drying Rack
Imagine that you are a wet t-shirt. Drape yourself accordingly. 

The Head-Rush

Lay on your back, head hanging off the side, paws in the air - and let gravity do the rest. A pounding headache will occur shortly. 

The Non-Conformist 

You will first need to find two willing conformists, in order to make your statement. 

 
The Mid-Sentence 
This position is only for those with extreme forms of narcolepsy. 

Some Assembly Required

Have a friend take you apart and then try to reassemble you from memory. 

Same as above, except without the box.

The Dog Bed 

It's probably the most comfortable bed you will ever sleep on, but smells kind of funky. 

 
 
The Dreaded Mid-Afternoon Slump
Eating a big lunch, then falling asleep at your desk. 

The Old Married Couple 

Your mate's snoring no longer bothers you.

Animals are so much nicer than humans..
They have never learned how to insult us verbally